How Counselling Can Help

Benefits that can result from counselling include:

  • Putting the zing back into your relationship
  • Rediscovering how to have fun together!
  • Improving communication & renewing intimacy
  • More stability in your relationship
  • Separation with reduced acrimony
  • Greater sense of being in control
  • More ability and clarity to make decisions
  • Depressive feelings less frequent, or lifted altogether
  • More relaxed and able to tackle challenges
  • Personal growth & raised self esteem
  • Improving erectile control; premature ejaculation; male loss of desire
  • Penetration problems resolved; female loss of desire improved
  • Ability to reach orgasm
  • Enriched sexual fantasy life
  • Adoption of less chaotic eating patterns
  • Gradual weight loss without dieting
  • Improved body image

How Counselling Can Help

Perhaps the heaviest burdens we carry in life are what we think of as our mistakes, weaknesses or failures. We may blame others, including those close to us, who we feel have let us down or been cruel or heartless towards us. Or we may feel, without tangible or easily-identifiable reasons, that life feels somewhat hollow and unsatisfying in crucial areas or that it is passing us by while others around us seem to be making progress.

Seeking counselling is a brave step. It is about striving to explore and understand why our chances of getting maximum enjoyment out of each day as it comes, seems to fail.

By seeking professional help we also open ourselves up to the possibility of tackling those limiting feelings that hinder our capacity for full expression of our unique character.
Seeing a counsellor can therefore be part of a life-changing journey that can involve gently unburdening yourself of past recriminations and negative self-beliefs.

These can gradually be replaced with more positive strategies aimed at helping you strive for goals that are in harmony with where, deep down, you really want to, and deserve to, be.
If you are plagued by inhibiting thoughts and beliefs that sap your power and energy, maybe the time has come for youto consider whether life itself is throwing you a significant, yet not necessarily an impossible, challenge?

You could of course choose to ignore such a challenge and carry on just as you are but, given that you are reading this, would that satisfy your inner yearning for change and serve your needs well?

After all, why should you feel wretched, unfulfilled and unworthy? Surely there is a better way to experience however much time you have left on the planet?

If, upon reflection, you accept that ultimately you cannot change anyone except yourself, then are you not also acknowledging that it is important to focus on what is definitely within your control?

Letting go of the toxic effects of past traumas by locating and harnessing your own inner power and resources is solely your business, as too is consciously planting the seeds for a more satisfying and fulfilling future.

My role, as a therapist, is to try and help support you in that noble endeavour and I would consider it to be both a challenge and a privilege to be able to offer my professional services to you on that basis.

Aims and Objectives of counselling

The counsellor’s aim is to create a safe, confidential and non-threatening environment that enables exploration of deeply personal issues to take place at a pace that feels right for each individual.

It is NOT to become a semi-permanent crutch for his/her client to lean on, nor is it to issue advice by telling anyone else how they should think or live their life.

Ultimately the aim is for the client to implement change by becoming empowered to make choices that they decide are right for them. Indeed, successful counselling is marked by its ending because the client has gained enough from sessions to be equipped with new perspectives, strategies and techniques to be able to face life’s challenges with renewed impetus and vigour.

What are the different approaches to counselling?

Person Centred: This type of counselling is non-directive. The counsellor acts as a source of understanding and encouragement rather than the problem solver.

The Person-Centred approach allows clients to move at their own pace and to direct their own development. This means they are aware that the counsellor believes in their capability to manage problems, which encourages them to believe in their strengths, values and worth.

An individual's self-concept is an important issue in this type of counselling; if someone has been brought up around negative experiences or interactions, it is likely that the person's self-concept will be damaged.

With this method, it is not the counsellor's task to direct or diagnose the individual; their role is to listen, understand and accept in a non-judgemental manner, thus allowing the clients to help themselves. This is thought to be extremely beneficial in repairing a person's self-concept in order to facilitate the possibility of lasting change by modelling new relationship patterns.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT): CBT tends to be more time-focused and directive by working in the here and now . Homework tasks, usually exercises at home, may be prescribed for clients in order to broaden experience by doing things differently and then to evaluate how it feels to engage in new behaviour.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is used by counsellors and psychologists to help ease emotional distress by recognising and treating the underlying psychological problems.

This type of therapy has proven to be an effective method of treatment for a variety of problems, including anxiety disorders, depression disorders, stress, anger and coping with loss.

Psychodynamic counselling: Psychodynamic approaches are based on theories of mental functioning that acknowledge how individuals have perceptions, thoughts and desires they are not consciously aware of.

Past, present and future are undeniably interconnected. Psychodynamic counselling explores how unconsciously we bring into our present intimate relationships unresolved dilemmas that possibly originated in the long forgotten past, frustrating the potential of the future.

This work focuses on the unconscious relationship patterns that evolved from childhood and how they have become building blocks, or templates, for current thoughts and behaviour, even though they may not be constructively serving the client’s adult needs.